Sit

Did you know that on average, we check our phones 205 times a day? 

Just to check.  Not answering the phone.  Searching for something interesting.  In those 205 times, we are distracting ourselves from the present moment.

When something sad, stressful or hurtful happens, many of us look for a way to distance ourselves from the discomfort. It may seem counterintuitive, but an effective way to manage our negative reactions to life's stressors involves slowing down and paying very close attention.

When I first starting practicing yoga, I was not into “sitting still in silence” just as I resisted ending in Savasana.  In fact, my husband, who was in a Buddhist monastery for an extended time, and studied Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction with Jon Kabat-Zinn, didn’t know what to do with me when we went to a meditation class together (his ideal date night) and I shifted and sighed, with my eyes popping open glaring at him wondering why he was so enthusiastic about this nonsense.  I grew up in a family of “doers”.  Feeling uncomfortable?  Just do something else and forget about it.

The first therapist I had encouraged me to sit and meditate every morning.  I was an anxious mess who was also a perfectionist.  Sitting still with no thoughts was torture.  I couldn’t do it.  I wouldn’t do it.

As my yoga practice developed, I noticed a subtle shift from wanting exercise, to craving peace and presence.  I suddenly loved Savasana.  I welcomed sitting still at the beginning of class, closing my eyes without an urge to peek and see what was going on around me.

I started just by sitting and noticing what was coming up.  This, combined with something my new therapist taught me (sitting with discomfort as an observer and noticing the feeling of holding or pressure in the body dissipates on its own without running from it), started me on my path of meditation. No formal classes.  A few books here and there around the house from my husband’s library, and using Insight Timer, allowed me to explore in my own way.

After I became a yoga instructor, my first classes were mainly asana focused, with minimal attention to meditation and savasana.  We did study Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction work during teacher training, but at the time, my goal was learning how to teach poses and sequences.  I wasn’t ready to integrate that knowledge into my classes.  I couldn’t integrate it yet.  I wasn’t ready.

Over time, while I love to noodle on alignment and movement, my opening breathwork has become more meditative, and my Savasana’s are influenced by what I have learned from some of my favorite teachers; Ram Dass, Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield. 

It is the practice of being still.  It is the practice of noticing, even the mind chatter that shows up.  It is the practice of being present.  Right now, everyone is looking down at their phone.  Oblivious to the world around them.  Oblivious to the opportunity of connection, whether it be to a person, animal, object and space.

I bricked my phone.  The best device that makes you physically get up to unlock the apps of your addiction.  You pause when you get that craving to get up and want to unbrick.  And then you can make a choice.  I have been choosing to sit and notice.  Sit and reflect.  Sit and meditate.  The result?  Lowered anxiety.  Less brain fog.  Increased awareness. Moments of connection.

How you find your way to meditation is up to you.  There’s no single “best” or “correct” way to experience meditation. Each session is as unique as each day of your life. Stay open to whatever arises, without clinging to ideas about how meditation should feel. Let go of judgment, criticism, and expectations as meditation is the practice of releasing models and labels.

Keep showing up with curiosity and kindness, and trust that the benefits will unfold in their own time.